METACOGNITION: POSITIVE COMMUNICATION STYLES

Which of the following Positive Communication Styles fits you best? Which style do you use the most?

COLLABORATING

Discussing alternatives, exploring or discussing their advantages or disadvantages.
Disagreeing in a courteous manner
Making requests
Negotiating trade-offs

PHRASES

How do you think we could solve the problems of...?
What do you see as the available possibilities open to us?
As I perceive it, the advantages are..., while the disadvantages are...
What do you see as the advantages to each alternative?
Let me see if I understand. The alternatives available are...

BENEFITS

You show that you are flexible and open to change.
This indicates that you care about receivers' concerns.
They will likely care more about you.

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COMMITTING

Agreeing
Committing oneself to act on a decision

PHRASES

Which alternative do you prefer?
I prefer alternative...
I am willing to ... if you are willing to ...
As I understand it, you agree to ...
I agree to ...

BENEFITS

Action is more likely to follow after you have made a commitment.
Commitment builds the receivers' trust in you and will tend to strengthen your relationships.

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DISCLOSING FEELINGS

Revealing one's own positive or negative feelings concerning :
a) himself, herself, the other person (s), or the relationship (negative feelings are disclosed in a courteous manner).....
b) things, events, or places (negative feelings are expressed in a courteous manner).

PHRASES

I am confused/sad/angry/hurt when...
I feel warm toward you when...
I am afraid to express myself when...
I enjoy being with you.
I like you.

BENEFITS

Receivers will tend to draw closer to you, and you will draw closer to them.
They will see you as more human, vulnerable, and therefore safe.
You will earn their trust.
Receivers will likely share their feelings more readily with you.

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DISCLOSING THOUGHTS

Revealing one's own ideas or opinions regarding:
a) himself, herself, the other person (s), or the relationship.....
b) other person or relationships beyond that which is ongoing or.....
c) things, events, or places.

PHRASES

It seems/appears to me that...
As I recall, it was...
My thinking may change, but I now believe...
I could be wrong...
My perception is...

BENEFITS

Receivers of your messages will be more prone to listen to you and to explore their own thoughts and ideas.
They will likely feel safe with you.

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ENCOURAGING

Identifying, the other person's feelings or thoughts.
Paraphrasing the other person's feelings or thoughts in the form of a declaration.
Making encouraging statements, e.g., recognizing the other person's efforts or contributions.

PHRASES

Mm-Hmm. So you feel unfairly treated.
Please go on.
I apologize for...
Thanks for helping me to... (a declaration)
I appreciate your...
You feel... because...
You have tried hard to ...
you have worked on improving...

BENEFITS

Improves receivers' self-worth. Receivers will likely try to do even better the next time.
You demonstrate a willingness to care and get involved; the result is greater closeness and warmth.
Helps reduce friction between you and the receivers.
Receivers may give you encouragement.

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SEEKING TO UNDERSTAND

Paraphrasing another person's thoughts or feelings in the form of a question.
Asking questions to understand or to clarify, or asking for a response to the accuracy of one's own perception.
Hypothesizing or guessing about meanings.

PHRASES

What do you mean when you...?
How do you feel when I...?
Let me see if I understand what you mean...
Please help me to understand what you feel when I...
Could it be that you... when you feel I have...?

BENEFITS

You convey the message that you care and want to understand receivers' thoughts and feelings.
Such responses can help receivers feel they are of greater value.
Their self-esteem will be enhanced.
They will likely respond to you in the same way.

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TEACHING

Giving facts, often referencing sources (e.g., books)
Giving thoughts or feelings of others often referencing sources
Providing guidance or direction based on authoritative sources (these may be presented by use of unstructured or structured methods)

BENEFITS

Receivers will likely consider/learn the information you have to share.
You may be opening the door to letting receivers teach you.
This will boost their self-esteem, and you may learn something in the process.
They will tend to feel safe with you as you teach in this manner.

(G. Hugh Allred 1976, 1986)

EDUCATION - COGNITION - INTEGRITY - HAPPINESS

PERSONAL THOUGHTS...

Through the years, my philosophy of education has changed. As I have contemplated the purpose of education, in general, it has occurred to me that education is more than filling empty minds with trivial clusters of information.

As I've progressed over the years, my mind has been molding and formulating a conclusion as to what education truly is:

Education is to teach strategies and skills that offer an assortment of information gathering tools that can be employed, to survive evolutions cruel notion... survival of the fittest.

It's the old addage if you give a hungry man, a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a hungry man, how to fish, you feed him for a life-time.

Yet - there is a gnawing feeling that something is lacking, in this fundamental value, that leaves one hanging. The foundation of the premis needs principles of higher thinking.

The very survival and growth of mankind relies on a sense of awareness, higher functioning skills, that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom - the ability to intentionally think, reason, and behave as intended.

My original conclusion evolved into a lengthy philosophy over time, to inlude values that take into consideration cause and effect/affect with authentic evaluation of the prior conclusion.

A paradox - 0ne can live life filling their mind with an abundance of knowledge, yet know nothing of life. In addition, one can apply the knowledge they have, yet be completely unaware of the purpose of its application...

The essence of life is greater, it is self-monitored, it is characterized by self-regulation. Meaning is derived from living life with purposeful - it examines an ongoing and eternal influence that we have on one another and on humanity itself:

Education is to teach others effective information gathering, memorization, and comprehension skills - with cause/motivation to apply the principles learned - giving value and purpose in a life-long endeavor to learning.

Why a life of learning?

FREEDOM - CHOICES - AGENCY - SELF-RELIANCE

Success can only come as we realize the only safety and security to be obtained in life is to know change is ongoing and imminent - as the principles of progress and evolution apply universally -within ourselves and externally - and the knowledge that we are flexible beings... none are exempt.

Those who choose to persist in a diseased state of stagnant apathy will be left with limited resources and choices - they are those who choose the security of servitude over the unknown of freedom & agency - self-proclaimed burdens on society - slaves to their addiction and conviction - slaves to society, tossed and blown by principles of nature and the elements, and self-victimized.

Survival and contentment require greater growth, progression, maturity, wisdom, and self-actualization. These are dependent on greater principles.

HIGHER THINKING and REASONING that offer those with vision and purpose - by choice - in the direction and interests they persue throughout their life...

One who is truly a student of life, is the creator of meaning and vision. He/she has true power over the body and nature of man. No force can conquer one who has examined the depths of his/her soul. To know ones purpose in time and universe - is - to be endowed with true understanding.

Synthesis of all life experiences and knowledge and evaluation of that synthesis is the ultimate cognitive activity. It establishes and motivates one to participate freely in explicit and specific - intentional - behaviors of positive growth and change, maintained over time... As we examine the integrity of our being and embark to make corrections to our imbalances within and without - we influence (educate) a change within our immediate communities and therefore - all humanty.

Recently I've applied at a local university to get a Masters Degree in Education - Reading & Cognition emphasis. My love is the workings/mechanics of the mind and what causes a person to "become," and to "be." What part is heredity? What part is environment? Sounds like Psychology - but from an educational point of view - what can I do as a teacher to influence children/others in a way for positive growth and success over time? How can I model the philosophy - to become educated is FREEDOM - to have the ability to self-evaluate and self-regulate one's life? Without education - it's just a crap shoot...

To illustrate my point, I've taken and cited ideas from other places to make a collage of thoughts and principles that make metacognition, self-monitoring, and self-regulation apparent and useful in my life and the lives of others.

METACOGNITION

POSITIVE COMMUNICATION STYLES

EDUCATION - COGNITION - INTEGRITY - HAPPINESS

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